If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
