when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
