How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
