In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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