Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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