Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
