Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
