Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
