I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize