My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
