I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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