I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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