dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
