I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
