We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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