he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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