So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
