Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
