i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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