Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The air was thick with penises
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
