I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize