omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
