If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
