i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
