The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just tell him i said nine months
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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