she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I could fuck to npr.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize