So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Randomize
