U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
