Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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