I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tornado booty call.. dedication
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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