More tranny stories later!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he shaved USA in his pubs
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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