I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
