I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
