My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
