When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
