So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize