How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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