so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize