i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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