At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
