I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
