I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
