is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
