Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
