It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
