I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
