i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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