Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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