VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
