You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
