you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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