and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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