I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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