you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
