this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
