its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize