Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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