bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
