$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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