you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
