I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize