is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
