You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
