Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
