So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
