He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize