Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
