At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
