It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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