He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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