I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
