it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize