I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
