She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
