oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I believe in your delicious
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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