Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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