Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
