Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
