so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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