if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
