so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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