The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
