apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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